My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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