i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize