Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
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I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize