sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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