I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
