Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
the liver wants what the liver wants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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