Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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