You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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