I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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