i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
