discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
