Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize