The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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