if you like me you must not know who I am
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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