I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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