Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
