you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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