Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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