I hate all girls vehemently.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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