please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
