hell yes lets make some ravioli
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just high enough for therapy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
