I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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