Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
