you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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