Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
