please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
