Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
