Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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