Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
