I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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