Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
