last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
