I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize