Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
