Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
