My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
