But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
