do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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