Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
