he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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