Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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