So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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