please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm like, not good at living.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
