I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He felt like a one man threesome
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
