I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
