i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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