you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
