Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
