Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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