Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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