Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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