weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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