Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
