She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
