Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
