So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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