I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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