if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
