There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
