fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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