Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
