According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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