I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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