Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
